Warning: THIS IS VERY, VERY LONG.
Johnny DEmon is joking around with Papi. Oh, Demon. You have no idea how much I want to punch you through my TV right now.
But awww, look, Joba. He’s so cute. He bites his nails! I bite my nails too, Joba!
Starting lineup for the Sox:
Julio Lugo – SS
Dustin Pedroia – 2B
David Ortiz – DH
Kevin Youkilis – 1B
Mike Lowell – 3B
Jason Varitek – C
Jacoby Ellsbury – CF
Chris Carter – LF
Brandon Moss – RF
Starting pitcher for the Yankees:
Andy Pettitte
The Red Sox also brought some other established Major Leaguers with them. For pitchers, they’ve brought Javier Lopez, Julian Tavarez, and Craig Hansen. Position players include George Kottaras, Jed Lowrie, and Bobby Kielty. I’m a big Kottaras-advocate.
See, I don’t have a problem with Pettitte. The guy came out and admitted the whole HGH thing and I don’t blame him for that. I don’t like him by default, because he’s a Yankee, but I don’t particularly hate him like I hate Demon or A-Rod.
On that note, no A-Rod today. Good. I am so not in the mood to see both Johnny Demon and Alex Frickin’ Rodriguez (I’m convinced that’s his middle name) in the same day.
TOP OF THE FIRST
Aaaand… Lugo grounds out to Jeet to start off the game.
Aww, Pedroia! He’s so little. Sadly, I’ll never ever be able to picture him wearing anything but jeans halfway down his butt and the word “DADDY” in sharpie across his chest. That is, this. Oh, wow–GREAT pitch there by Pettitte. And little Petey’s K’d.
Wow. Pettitte looks really, really good. This is annoying me. Well, Papi just worked back to a 2-2 count after being behind with no balls. JEEZ–and Pettitte’s K’d Papi, too, this time on an attempted check swing that went around.
BOTTOM OF THE FIRST
HA. Colon, who finished last season 6-8, just got two quick strikes on Demon. Hooray–wow, GREAT two-seamer by Colon right there, and he’s struck out Johnny Demon on four pitches.
Siiiigh. Jeet. Ball, ball, foul, soft single past Pedroia at second to shallow right.
Lineup:
Johnny Damon – LF
Derek Jeter – SS
Bobby Abreu – RF
Jason Giambi – 1B
Jorge Posada – C
Hideki Matsui – DH
Robinson Cano – 2B
Wilson Betemit – 3B
Melky Cabrera – CF
Sox starting pitcher:
Bartolo Colon
Abreu barely bends his knees when he’s at bat. Huh. He folds in on the plate from the hips, too. This is a long at-bat. How many fouls is this now? At least three or four. There’s been a full count for a while. C’mon, Bartolo–ball four and Jeter tried to steal second anyway.
Giambi looks like a toad. No offense, Jason. But what was that–it looked like he was trying to scoop it up out of the dirt. Too bad he made contact. Wow. Nice strikeout right there. That pitch started out high and sunk to right in by his elbows.
Hmm… methinks Colon doesn’t look as large as he has before. I think he is losing weight. This doesn’t look good–3-0 to Posada. Okay, strike. Good. Don’t walk him, Bartolo, Matsui’s up next. Oh, crap. Put a BB on that one.
Farrell visit to the mound.
Matsui (…sushi! If you get it, you get it) is up here now. He barely bends over the plate. Oh–foul. Good. Big foul right there. Okay. Let’s go, Bartolo. (Can’t you just hear Fenway chanting that?) Crap, ground rule double. At least it’s only two runs. Three–at least–would’ve scored otherwise
Oh no. It’s Robinson Cano. For me, Robbie, strike out please. For me. Pleeeease? I know I don’t really like you. But I’m asking nicely. With a cherry on top? Oh, nope. Posada and Matsui score and Cano’s on first. Fine, Robsinson. Be that way.
Hey, Betemit. Okay. He’s .172 this spring. He should be a nice out. How about a nice, easy grounder up towards second, huh? Oookay. Full count. Oh, no. 40 pitches in the first inning? Eek. Okay, Bartolo. Well, 41 now. Another long at-bat here. Oh no. Another walk. Here comes Tito. 42 pitches is, I think, as much as they wanted the whole day. Well. Maybe Tavarez will come in? Aww, he looks sad.
…Yep, here comes Tavy. And Melky’s up now. A grounder to short and the inning is–finally–over. That was quick.
TOP OF THE SECOND
Wow, nice catch by Cano. Youk just plopped it to that gap between first and second, but Cano managed to range over and scoop it up.
Betemit collected that one and gunned it to first to get Lowell out by a couple feet.
Tek’s ahead in the count 2-0–wait, no, 2-1. 3-1. Aww, Mikey’s hair looks very grayed. It looks nice, though. Aaaand there’s a BB for the captain.
Ja-co-by! Ja-co-by! Ball (my god he is gorgeous), strike (what a swing he has), ball (I do love it when ballplayers wear eyeblack), foul tip (this must be the fifth time they’ve zoomed in on his face), ball (not that I’m complaining), fly to shallow right… and Cano catches it. Oh well. At least he got three balls (see, he can judge the strike zone).
(EEEEEEEEEEEK. It’s the new Sullivan Tires commercial! Is it just me, or is Dustin Pedroia’s hand straying to a strange location on his shorts toward the end there? I mean, after all, he is a ballplayer…)
BOTTOM OF THE SECOND
Ha, look, it’s Demon again. 2-1. That first pitch was a nice strike. The second two were crazy and outside–the first high, the second low. Nice connection there, but Moss ranged over and grabbed it. Nice job getting the sun outta your eyes, Brandon.
Oof. Another way-out-of-there pitch to Jeter. And another–OUCH–hit him in the shoulder there. Shoulder? Nah, right above his right elbow. Heeey, I broke my arm there when I was a year old. I had a bright pink cast for three weeks.
Oh, no. Abreu’s slammed it. Two-run dong to right field. 6-0 Yankees.
Giambi’s up again. And now he’s slapped down the first base line for a ground-ish-line-drive-thing double.
And here’s Mr. Catcher himself. Easy grounder right to Pedroia (that hit must’ve been aiming for the glove) and tossed to first, but Giambi’s on third now.
Two outs. Oh, no–another run scores from third on a dribbling single up the middle. If Pedoria could’ve got that, it would’ve no doubt been a highlight reel play. He was pretty close.
Okay, Cano. Get this out so I can go get my lunch quickly, huh? 1-1. That one was WAY outside, Tavy. Oh, no–another to shallow right!
Runners on first and second. Betemit up. Jeez, 7 runs and 7 hits so far. 3-0. Tavarez is having some serious control issues here. Okay. 3-1. Work it back up, Julian. Now a foul grounded down the first base line… STRIKE THREE. FINALLY.
TOP OF THE THIRD
I’m eating lunch/snack/thing (Ramen, yumm) so there’ll be less commentary this inning.
So… Carter’s ahead 3-1… wait, 3-2. And two fouls right after each other, down the third base line. BASE HIT TO SHALLOW CENTER. Good. Okay, a single. That’s fine.
Now Moss’s up. Dropped pitch by Posada, but no steal attempt by Carter. HA–Demon lost the ball in the sun and thought it was foul and gave up, but finally realized it was in fair territory when it landed like 15 feet from him. Runners on second and third very quickly now.
Lugo’s up. That pitch was WAY outside–Posada’s visiting the mound. Pettitte seems to be losing his composure a little. Two perfect innings and now two base hits. I guess the visit helped; he just threw a strike. Aw, man. Lugo just BANGED one down the third base line, but it was JUST foul. Another foul, first base line. (I’m barely getting any food in my mouth, just typing. Ha.) Another foul! To the right of second–nice ranging by Jeter there, but Carter scored, so it’s 7-1 and one out now.
Now, Pedroia’s definitely one guy who doesn’t bend his knees. (I’m still picturing him wearing, uh, THAT outfit. Ugh.) The strike zone would be teensie if he did. (Hey, look–George Steinbrenner isn’t secretly dead! There he is!) Passed ball–and Moss just scored easily, so it’s now 7-2. There’s ball four and Pedroia’s nearly sprinting down to first base.
(HA. Pedroia’s about half Giambi’s size.)
Pitching coach visit to the mound…
WHOA–pitch up in Papi’s armpits! Wow. That was WAY inside. Nice jump back by Ortiz, though. Aw, look, Pedoria’s run down between first and second to get the second out of the inning.
Wow. Papi’s swing is HUGE. Nice foul gunned down the first base line and it’s 2-2. Aaand a K for Papi, the inning’s over, but it’s 7-2 now.
BOTTOM OF THE THIRD
And now Cabrera’s up again. Tavarez is still pitching. Nice catch by Carter there in left, and Melky’s out.
Eew, why is Demon grinning? He looks so malicious when he grins without that Jesus-hair. Haha, strike three for Demon. He’s pretty much the only Yankee not having a great day. Good. He’s one of the, oh, two or three players I really hate.
That was fast–a one-two-three inning. Good. I totally missed what happened to Jeter…
TOP OF THE FOURTH
YOUUUK! Already ahead in the count, 2-0, it’s deep, deep–GONE! His second tater of the spring! This one was to left, right over Demon’s head. 7-3, now…
Ohhhh, that was just barely inside the park. Mikey drove one to deeeeeeep left, but Demon got his hands on this one.
Pettitte’s done.
I missed what happened–now there’re two outs and two on. It looks like… Tek on second (how’d he get there?), Ellsbury on first (Remy said later he got a nice hit–what was it?), and now Moss’s up. I guess Carter got out.
So Mossie’s ahead in the count, 3-1. (Aw, Joba–knuckling a ball, demonstrating his grip… he’s so cute.) BASE HIT to shallow right! Tek scores, Jacoby’s on third, Moss on first. 7-4.
Lugo’s up now. Cano grabbed it and we go to the bottom of the inning. (Cano’s made lots of nice catches today, huh?)
BOTTOM OF THE FOURTH
Abreu’s got a leadoff, stand-up double. Deeeep to left.
Ugh. Base hit for Giambi, nice collection by Moss there, but Abreu goes to third.
(I’m still eating, by the way.)
Tavy’s behind again, 3-1. C’mon, Julian. Throw strikes. WHOA–that was a cool play. It was grounded to Youk, who threw to second, ran back to first, and fielded the return play from Pedroia. Nice DP there.
Mastui back at the plate. Full count. Ooh–Tavarez almost made a very nice play, but he had to run backwards over the mound and look into the sun to find it. He almost had it but it rolled out of the glove. That’s scored as a single.
And here’s Robinson Cano. This guy’s having a great day. Hits to both sides of the outfield today, plus those catches. Ugh. (Some lady just screamed, “I LAV YEW RAWBAY!” That was weird.) Deep to right center–and Jacoby catches that one neatly. Aw, look at that cute little exchange there between Ellsbury and Moss.
TOP OF THE FIFTH
Abaladejo is pitching. Don’s having some trouble with that name. Don: it’s not that hard. Ah-bah-lah-dey-ho.
Another catch by Cano–Pedroia grounded out. He’s now struck out, walked, and grounded out. How about some hits, Petey?
Don and Remy are talking about the name again. Abaladejo. Not that hard, guys…
Big Papi walked and was quickly pinch-ran for by Jeff Corsaletti. He’s kinda cute (heh. End girly here).
Abreu can’t quite make the catch, but Corsaletti is forced out at second. Youk on first. Nope, wait–Youk’s pinch run for, too, by Joe Thurston.
Lowell’s up–two strikes pretty quickly, and now a big foul. A ball. Another foul. Another ball… nice check there, Mikey. But he chased there. Strike three.
BOTTOM OF THE FIFTH
Lopez is pitching now, and Carter’s on first. Thurston’s in left, I guess.
Betemit got out quickly. One pitch, one out.
Cabrera–who also hasn’t got any hits today–also is out quickly. Good.
And here’s a lefty for Lopez: Johnny Demon. If he gets a 1-2-3 inning, I’ll be very happy for him. HA–yay! An easy grounder and Demon’s out. Yessssss.
TOP OF THE SIXTH
Tek grounds one straight to Jeter. Oh, well. That was pretty quick.
A hit for Ellsbury! A soft single into left field, but I’ll take it.
HA. Demon screws up another one and Carter doubles. Ellsbury moves to third. I think that sign behind him (the Red Baron sign with the big bushy mustache?) is mocking him.
Pitching change–Abaladejo’s out. Billy Traber is in now.
Brandon Moss is up! He’s doing really well today, too. Come on, Mossie… Aww, strike three. Nice pitch right there. It went from the middle of the strike zone to the dirt.
Lowrie’s in for Lugo now! Oh, wait–he’s been in half an inning? Oooops. He grounded out to Betemit, who guns it to first easily. That kid (Betemit) has a CRAZY arm.
BOTTOM OF THE SIXTH
Nice play by Lowrie and Jeter’s out quickly at first. Wow. That was fast. Aww, Lowrie’s adorable.
Hey, now Cash is in. I guess they want him to get some more at-bats. Lopez is pitching again.
Now he’s ahead in the count, 1-2. And that was a big foul by Jason Lane, who’s in for Abreu. Another foul backwards. Jeez–and another long foul. That was close. Lowrie’s back for a catch in shallow left. He’s got that easily. And yep–there’s Thurston and Ellsbury around him. Thurston is in left.
Aw, but Lowrie let that one through. Thurston gathered it, but Giambi is on first.
Lopez is done. Hansen’s in now.
Oof–that wasn’t a nice pitch. He’s pitching to Posada now. C’mon, Craig. Two more easy strikes. Or just, you know, a nice grounder to second… that’d be nice… he swung and missed, but Cash bobbled the catch, then threw it to first for the out. Inning is over.
TOP OF THE SEVENTH
Pedroia grounded quickly out. He’s not having a good day, is he?
Here’s Corsaletti, back in Papi’s place again. He’s a lanky kid. Nice glasses (sarcasm). There goes the curve, and he’s struck out.
Jeez! We knew Thurston was having a good spring. His batting average so far is .394–too bad it just lowered, ’cause he grounded to short and was thrown out at first. There goes another 1-2-3 inning.
BOTTOM OF THE SEVENTH
Ellsbury made a nice, easy enough catch to start off the inning. There’ve been so many substitutions I kind of lost track of who’s who.
Well, I can tell you Bernie Castro is up now. Ginter, who’s now on third, slung it to first for the quick out.
Suarez came very close to making an amazing play, but stumbled over it. If he’d been able to make that, everyone would’ve been fawning over him. That was close, but now Nick Green is on first.
Another catch by Ellsbury! But this wasn’t easy, this was nice.
TOP OF THE EIGHTH
Bruney’s in now for the Yankees. Ha.
Ginter is up. He takes strike one. The TV just freaked out on me, so I missed what happened other than that it says “1 OUT” at the top of the screen now.
And here’s Cash–what was that? It was like a check swing where his whole body turned around but he made contact. That was weird. He’s quickly down 0-2, and there’s the third for a K for Bruney.
I completely missed Jacoby’s at bat. But look–he just stole second and practically walked to third! He was halfway to second by the time the ball left Bruney’s hand and, when Cano (was it him? I’m not actually sure) bobbled it, jogged on to third as the ball dribbled into the shallow outfield.
Aww, Carter struck out to strand Ellsbury on third. Oh well.
BOTTOM OF THE EIGHTH
Hunter Jones is pitching now. I saw him at the Rookie Development Program autograph session back in January. I should post those pictures sometime.
So… Carter caught that pop-up foul very easily. So far, so good.
Here’s Alberto Gonzalez, in for Jeter. (Is anyone else tickled by that sign that says “YANKEES-STEINER COLLECTIBLES”? They should make it Steinbrenner-Steiner.) Whoa–nice one by Lowrie! Good arm right there.
Joe Thurston caught that one easily. 1-2-3, the Yanks are done.
TOP OF THE NINTH
This is the Sox’ last chance to try and come back. We can get four or 5 runs, right?
Scott Strickland is pitching now. The guy reminds me of Josh Strickland, who I know not from American Idol, but from Tarzan: the Musical. I saw him on Broadway a year ago when I was in NYC. He was good. Anyway.
Mr. Brandon 2-for-3 Moss is up now. He got a quick out I totally missed. Whoops. I was reading the Indians’ Dugout from today. Forgive me.
Here’s Lowrie. Aaaand… he’s out at first.
Iggy Suarez ends up being the batter at the top of the ninth with two out. 0-1… 0-2… 1-2… strike three.
FINAL SCORE:
YANKEES – 8
RED SOX – 4
Oh well. Hey, it’s just spring.
Just look at that face!…or maybe don’t.
